Wow! Day 6 was quite a challenge. I struggled emotionally and mentally throughout the day. Read on to find out.
"The more you meditate the less mistakes you make"- Emily Fletcher
Omg! I woke up in the morning thinking about him. It was hard. Again I did my pre-meditation routine and went back to bed to do my meditation. Meditating was a challenge, I was not sure if I did it properly. I was disturbed by a lot of negative thoughts and emotions. Again I try my best not to judge and to just surrender to the meditation.
I still felt crappy after the meditation. An hour passed and I still felt shitty. Soon I just could not take the negativity anymore, I went back to my room do my meditation again. Remember in my previous post i mentioned that I do not know I survived pre-TM. Today it felt like my pre-TM days. I meditated again, this time I just surrendered and expected the worst. Thankfully the second meditation went better. I am not sure if I could do two meditations within a short span of time, was certainly not taught this in the TM Center. So peace returned. Finally!
The rest of the day i still struggled with some negative thoughts, especially those of him. Fear crept in that maybe he met someone else. I had to turn to Youtube motivation videos, read Gabrielle Bernstein's "The Universe Has Your Back" to help me get through the day. I had to keep breathing in the negative emotion and surrendering them.
Since the day before, I felt this strong urge that I should start making contact with him through the running app Strava. That I should give him "kudos" for his next run . I am not sure if it was my brain or intuition. I am still a noob at the whole intuition thing so I decided to practice what I read in Gabrielle Bernstein's book. I asked for a sign. I asked god or the universe to show me a parrot. Show me a parrot if I should give him "kudos" on Strava for his next run. (Strava is an app that tracks your running, cycling and other activities. Running and cycling is "our thing" )
I went about my day. Finishing work and preparing for my meeting in the evening, I could feel the effect of my morning Transcendental Meditation wearing off from 3pm onwards. I am not sure if this is a normal feeling amongst the TM practitioners. Certainly did not find any clues on this from the videos of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi that I have watched. If anyone else experience this, do let me know. I went about my day finishing my work, replying to emails. I manage to go on Instagram for a bit to check on my favourite entrepreneur, Bonda Rozita. Saw a post of her coming back from Bali and was unboxing her loot. One of it was a painting by a famous balinese artist on nature , some trees with owls in it. She was discussing about owl with her personal assistants, the conversation lead to them talking about other birds and before I know it she was singing this old traditional song about a parrot. Oh my god! Is this "the sign"??? Again, being a total noob , i asked for another sign, this time a parrot again because I was really afraid of misinterpreting the sign.
As the day went on, I found a spot in between work to do my evening meditation. It was a struggle too, but I did better than the morning one. I felt good after the meditation. I had to meet clients after the session. During my meeting I found that I was quite alert and manage to patiently listen to my client. This time I manage to listen to them objectively, instead of getting all emotional and defensive. I managed to get my points across clearly during discussion, something which I previously struggled with.
So thats all for today. Will let you know if I receive any sign for a second parrot. :)