So here is day 2 of me journalling my journey in TM and hopefully trying to live a surrendered life as much as I can. Honestly to live in a state of surrender is harder than I think it is. I will be honest though TM does make it easier however when the effect of TM wears off, when all the thoughts comes rushing back in it get a little harder.
Picking fruits mindfully. Me trying to be present and in the moment.
Acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality it brings something entirely new into this world. That peace, a subtle energy vibration, is consciousness. - Eckhart Tolle
So here it goes day 2 of my TM & my healing process. The first thought that comes into my head the moment I woke up was " Oh my god! I slept ! I fell asleep early and easily , I slept through the night without waking up and felt fresh and happy the moment I woke up. I was grateful for this. I haven't been able to fall asleep this easily for years. I have always had trouble falling sleep. So hopefully this continues and help to prove thatTM indeed improves sleep.
“Oh my god, I slept !.”
So I was up feeling happy, feeling loved. Of course the thoughts of him did cross my mind. I still feel sad but at the same time I was at peace. There was a feeling of "acceptance" mixed with a feeling that I will be okay. Again a strange cocktail of feeling that I am not used to but one that I welcome with open arms. The pre-TM me would have cried and listened to sad songs and wallow in self pity as one does when they are going through a break. That is not me this time. I accept that this is the situation that we are in now and I surrender it. So I went about with my morning routine.
After which, I went to my TM centre for a second "checking" session. I could not stop smiling as I was sharing my experience for the 1st day in my class. It was visible to everyone present that I was happy. After my session I had to go for a photoshoot for my small startup business. As the photoshoot went on I could feel the effect of my TM wearing off. I am not sure if this is normal. I could feel that I was more irritable and again thoughts about him start creeping in. However, one difference is that I am aware of my thoughts and I could quickly accept the thoughts and surrender them. By evening I was getting tired of surrendering, it was difficult. However, it allows me to enjoy the photoshoot and somewhat be present in the moment as much as I can be. Once the shoot was over I cannot wait to go home and meditate to feel the peace and calmness again.